Many people consider visiting their family for winter holidays a matter “how” and not “if.” However, rising costs could make it more difficult to travel, particularly when combined with other life changes such as moving across the country, attending school, or getting married.

How can you control holiday travel costs? Establish financial boundaries early with family members and friends. These conversations can be daunting, but there are ways you can make the holidays special without compromising your goals.

We understand that traveling is not always possible

It can be difficult to keep the holiday travel routine you have been enjoying as you make new commitments in your life. Younger millennials might find themselves further away from their families as they seek out job opportunities. Audrey Peshkam moved to New York from Southern California earlier this year to work for a non-profit organization.

Peshkam states that visiting her parents for Christmas will be the most expensive thing she has ever done. “If I stay in New York for a long time, I will have to justify the cost each year of cross-country flights.” She hopes the financial burden will decrease as she advances in her career.

Antoinette Perry, who lives in Washington, D.C. with her husband and their dogs, has been balancing these tradeoffs for more than a decade.

Perry says that flying home was not an option when I was young in my career. “Holidays also meant choosing one parent or sibling over the other, which was often a difficult choice.” Perry’s family is divided across several states. )

She adds that “now that I’m older and have established my family, it’s even more difficult,” and that she has to consider her husband’s family as well as her dogs’ travel restrictions.

Holiday plans can be complicated and expensive due to the addition of children, spouses, pets, and jobs. It’s important to set realistic expectations and communicate with your family.

Set expectations

Family occasions and finances are two of the most important aspects in adult life. If they’re not coordinated, it can lead to conflict. Communicate your limitations early to avoid confusion.

Perry claims that the conversations about her ability to travel home for holidays were so difficult for her for years that she avoided them altogether. Instead of traveling, she would rather spend holidays with her community and faculty during college and early adulthood.

She tries to find compromise and help her family plan visits that fit their budgets.

No matter what your holiday travel limits are, it’s better not to overextend your budget to keep people from being disappointed. You can still plan to meet up with family and friends over video chat or phone calls, even if you don’t have the funds for a flight. In some cases, your loved ones might even be willing to pay for some or all of your travel costs if they know your financial situation.

Offer to Host

Many people consider it a major shift in their lives when “home” moves from somewhere they visit to somewhere they host. Many millennials have started to build their own homes, families, holiday traditions, and may feel it is right to invite their parents to visit them. Hosting is more affordable and easier than traveling, but it can be less stressful than hosting.

Your family might be more inclined to visit you if you share your story. You might be able to convince your family to come to you instead of bringing your kids and pets.

Be creative

You can also try un-Thanksgiving or un-anything if you don’t have the funds to travel around popular holidays. You can also prioritize one holiday, regardless of whether it’s religious or seasonal, and make sure you don’t miss any family members’ birthdays.

Peshkam states that “my family cares more about Christmas than they do Thanksgiving.” “I cannot afford to travel home for both so my family knows I will be spending Thanksgiving with friends span>

Talk to your neighbors, friends, or coworkers if you are unable to visit family members for major holidays. It may surprise you how many people will open their homes to share holiday meals with additional guests, including their children.

Perry says, “It was a great experience to spend holidays with people in my community who were willing to host me in their homes.” “And because I shared these varied experiences with my family, they almost always forgave me for not coming home .”

This article was originally published by The Associated Press and was written by NerdWallet.